[D5 LA] Thank the Fortunes It's Raining

[Kitsu Murato]

He nods. "I won't forget," his voice cracks again, "...of course."

Clearing his throat, he continues. "But I was referring to the fact that I said I would learn about the duty of the Crab, and share it with others that they might understand. I will do so. And I suspect," he wavers a bit, "It will take more than one meeting."

He was willing to meet with her again, to keep his word. Is that the only reason he would be willing to meet with her? It may be too soon for him to know.

[Kuni Yasu]

"Nor I." It's said so quietly, it might be drowned out by the endless patter of rain on lush foliage. It's hard not to see her brightly painted lips move of course, but there's a lot of not looking at one another right now.

She looks at him sharply as he notes the actual promise, only a for a moment before watching the path in front of them again, nodding. "Of course. It's a lot."

After a few more steps, and a slow breath, she begins, "I think you'd like the winter gatherings we share the year's news and research." Perhaps she could offer an invitation. If they were destined to go their separate ways. "There's an entire new categorization system for all those little house spirits that Kuni Chirkomi presented last winter. Some are arguing it still, but I think it will be a standard text in a few years..."

She pauses with a, perhaps unseen, rueful smile. "That doesn't really get at our duty, but I thought you'd probably be interested."

[Kitsu Murato]

He nods at that. "The Kitsu have our own systems of categorization, but we keep copies from others when we can get them. Just so we can identify something that may not be common and missing from our own. The ones from other clans are usually outdated. And of course there's a lot of regional yokai that we simply do not get in our lands, those that prefer the heat or certain environments like the coast," he replies. His tone was certainly not as excited as before, and seemed sapped. But there was still an intellectual curiosity and appreciation of the subject.

"But you said that creatures that live near your home tend to be... different. They changed in order to survive the harsh environment. Dose that apply to spiritual creatures as well? Or is it all spirits that cannot enter the wastes?"

[Kuni Yasu]

There may be a raised eyebrow at 'outdated,' but it was definitely not something to argue about now. "Hm, yes, we see most terrain types, but even so, the high mountains of the Dragon are not exactly the same as the Twilight Mountains. We don't have nearly enough people to keep up with regional variance like that, though."

Trying to explain the spiritual emptiness of the Wastes, she takes a minute to organize her thoughts. "So it's mostly an absence of the elemental kami, and it all builds from there. Spirits that have a strong connection to the elements have trouble. Other spirits manage, but there's often not much there to draw or anchor them, if that makes sense. A few of the really solitary types are ok." Her voice slowly warms to the topic, it being a bit of a lecture almost.

"But the lack of kami is rough on most creatures of ningen-do, us included. Thus the shrine networks. Even a solitary research hut will be connected to it. But a shrine's influence fades fast with distance. So any natural animals have a rough time. They end up with major elemental imbalances, and you don't always know which one until it's trying to eat you. Additionally, there are still miles of tunnels that haven't been collapsed or warded, so things slip into them. And that's just a wonderful surprise when we discover them."

[Kitsu Murato]

"I see," he says. "The Kuni bind elemental kami into the shrines, maintain the network, and fight off spirits in the wastes. Jade is a spiritual substance. Is it affected by the wastes too? Your bracelet looks undamaged."

That elicits the thought of the first day. He wonders if she knew even then. He had enjoyed... he shakes his head to banish the thoughts that keep his eyes from drying. He wants to look but he can't bring himself to. He remains quiet as he swallows the choking feeling.

[Kuni Yasu]

"Jade seems unbothered by anything except the corruption of Jigoku's influence. It's pretty inert to other things." She considers a moment, glancing over companionably, expression softening to see his expression. "It...hmm, if there were any jade within those lands when all influences were stripped away, it likely lost all of its spiritual properties. But jade brought in, seems fine."

"We should maybe start back, Kitsu-san?" she says quietly. "There's...plenty of time to talk in future days." And I don't want to keep twisting this knife

[Kitsu Murato]

He takes a breath to calm before speaking. "I... apologize. I am not a very good conversation partner at the moment. I can only ask that you forgive me Kuni-san. My behavior is unbecoming. It might be best to reschedule," he agrees with a nod. He turns to face her... and meet her eyes with his once more. It is difficult, but he manages if she does.

[Kuni Yasu]

She does, her eyes welling again. "you have _nothing_ to apologize for, my friend." The careful distance evaporates in the moment, but...stops a few steps away from the closeness that had been hoped for. "The fault is mine. Entirely." Tears track down her face, the umbrella blocking the friendly, masking rain.

Her voice is choked, of course it is. "Everyone's hurting because I couldn't control myself. I'm so sorry." She takes a deep breath, both hands clutching the umbrella handle tightly. "I don't think there is anything I can do to make things better."


_______
Going to call that unmasking and take that CP hit here, because if there's a place that's going to happen, it's here.

[Kitsu Murato]

He looks down at the ground for a moment. "You... " he breathes, looking back up with that pained accepting smile. "You deserve to be happy, and you have found someone that can provide that for you. Do not cry because I'm not that person. Smile, because you brightened my life for a moment. I hope they can give you a thousand beautiful moments in return for the one you gave me."

He meant every word... but it was also painful to say them. He would rather be promising her 1000 beautiful moments himself. Or kissing her. Or doing anything other than feeling inadequate in the pouring rain in the middle of the summer in the middle of deer lands. But he had still meant each and every word that he hated speaking just now.

He turns to continue back taking a step then waiting for the sound of her footsteps as well.

[Kuni Yasu]

She's silent for a long moment, getting her tears under control. Kami..if he could, she had to. And it felt...better? To have made a clearer apology, even if he wasn't willing to let her blame herself

Her footsteps do follow. Slowly.

At some point on the walk back, she says quietly, "you deserve to be happy too." Even if she's not the one to help with that now.