[D10, LA, expecting] Catching up the words

[Matsu Ishioka]

He gasps a little when she says his words hurt, face fully showing how disappointed he is in himself.

"Narumi-chan," he says, voice a whisper, as he places his free hand over hers. "If what we have is as special as I think it is... I can't hope for anything else. I understand it's complicated, but..." He takes a heavy breath. "You both have grown and continue to grow in my heart," he says, "and I think the same may be true for you."

[Usogawa Narumi]

Her throat closed up for a moment and she took a deep breath, "It is true for me. More than you think. I'm.. still seeing Bo-san, and things- there have been developments," Narumi felt faint but carried on. Things needed to be said. "I hadn't meant to keep it from you, I wasn't trying to... I didn't want to keep hurting you, and lately everything about you and I has been so wrapped up in sorting out what could be between yourself, myself, and Inoshishi-san..."
She needed to sit down, nearly trembling.

[Matsu Ishioka]

Never had the word 'developments' hurt a heart like it did to Ishioka in that moment. There's a pained inhale as his heart drops into his stomach and his eyes close. He almost doesn't hear the other words at all.

With almost no emotion the Lion says, "We should sit." He doesn't know what his face is showing as his mind swims. He leads Narumi to a nearby bench, hoping a seat will do them both good. Once they're sitting, he reaches for her hand, perhaps more desperately than she expects.

[Usogawa Narumi]

"Wait..." his face falls, and he's got her arm, and leads her to a bench, and they're sitting...?
"Wait.." he's upset and it gets her upset, and her vision whites out and he grabs her hand, and
"Wait!" Narumi says sharper than she means to. She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment to stop feeling like she's spinning and when she opens them, she searches his expression.

[Matsu Ishioka]

Ishioka takes a steadying breath, then waits patiently for Narumi. His hand stays with hers unless she pulls it away.

[Usogawa Narumi]

Why would she pull away?
Taking a breath, she offers him a small but distant smile. "Zeni for your thoughts? Just... just so we're clear?"

[Matsu Ishioka]

Ishioka looks surprised, like it should be clear. But her asking makes him uncertain. All he can do is answer with full honesty.

"I thought... You were saying that, while we've been talking, that Bo..." He bridles, not even wanting to say it out loud and let it be real even for a moment. He forces the words out breathlessly: "That you love him like you love me..." He squeezes her hand, perhaps too hard as he fights to stay with her while a wave of emotion threatens to pull him away.

[Usogawa Narumi]

She blinks and her gaze drops at that. "No, it's not the same," she echoes what she said to him the other night, but still as honestly. "It's entirely, wildly different.
I couldn't possibly love him the way I love you... But at the same time, the reverse is also true as well." She chooses her words very carefully before glancing back to him.
"Youre um, crushing my hand..."

[Matsu Ishioka]

Ishioka is quick to release her hand, frustrated that he'd hurt her at all, and then he contemplates what she's just said. That she loves them both, but differently. It's a complicated thought, and he can't analyze it all fast enough.

"Narumi-san," he says, quiet but calm. "This... As you said, there are developments. And they... Maybe they require further consideration. From both of us." He looks a little uncertain but still steady as they sit there.

[Usogawa Narumi]

"Right..." Narumi's hand dropped from his slowly, and was immediately tucked away into her sleeve. "Right..."
Now he knew. Or he was beginning to understand where she had been coming from.

With a defeated sigh, she hesitates before leaning over to kiss his cheek gently- as she had that morning in his room with Inoshishi... Brief were her lips on his skin. More of a show that she was still there for him than to illicit a direct action from him.
That done, she rose to her feet. "Call on me again when you're ready to talk this through." Her voice sounds steadier than she feels, and with another hint of a smile to him, Narumi leaves him in the gardens.

/ scene