[D9, LA, Expecting] Nap Time

[Asahina Soyokaze]

"Being called pretty isn't an insult unless it is turned into one and it often is when directed at me. I have been misidentified many times, which also doesn't particularly bother me, it's the reactions I get when I correct those people that usually turn things sour. I have often considered cutting all this off because of it." He ran a hand through his hair. "I want to believe but at this point the fear of it all being a lie or having it taken away from me by the Shika is starting to crush the warmth in my heart. Without Bai...the list of people I know who I could possibly be happy with is very short. You are on that list, it would be a cruel fate if we were paired together, never hating each other but knowing at all times that our thoughts were with other people. No, I do not wish that upon you." Soyokaze was growing visibly distraught but was fighting hard against it.

[Seppun Unsei]

Unsei listened quitely and attentively as Soyo spoke, but oddly they didn't look at him. Instead, they moved over and picked up the duckling and moved back over to the Crane before placing it in his lap. Then they... still didn't look at him. They knew it was easier to talk when one didn't have to make eye contact.

"I haven't picked a name out for the lil baby yet, so I've just been calling them Ga*-chan for now." They murmured softly as they slipped into their more proper shugenja role. After all, Shugenja were spiritual advisors and healers, and while this wasn't a physical illness, Unsei knew that the mind needed taking care of as well. "Unfortunately these emotions we feel are a blessing and yet a curse. Yin and Yang. Without sadness, we would not know the warmth of joy, and without happiness, we would be overcome with a fierce, cold darkness. Life is a balancing act and it is something that many struggle to attain."

"Would the joy of being so close to Kaito-san-" Still utterly refusing to use her first name,"-still be as wonderful if you knew that you didn't have the chance to lose her? Would you cherish the moments as closely as you do? Would you fear losing her as much as you do now?" All rhetorical questions not meant to be answered, but more to drive their point home. "We can either drink in life's emotions, experiencing all there is, even the bad and unpleasant emotions, or we can hide ourselves away from it and live a cold, angry half-life."

They paused for a moment and took a bite of mochi. "If you don't marry her, or she decides that she loves Kitsu-san more instead, it will hurt and... that's a good thing. It means you're alive. You're human. Yet, that doesn't mean that you won't have any other chances. Life will march steadily on. You'll still be married to someone else and as long as you don't scorn them like so many do when they don't get their way, then there is always the potential that you could enjoy and maybe even love your spouse. Does that mean you'll forget Kaito-san? No. Will there still be pangs of sadness when you remember her? Yes. However, you can still remember and cherish someone while still cherishing and actively being with someone else. Grief and sadness after losing anyone, even if they are still alive, comes in waves. There will be days where all you can do is think about them in sorrow, but gradually over time you will heal if you allow yourself to move on."

A second bite of mochi. "This is all assuming that you don't get her. If you do, then that's great. Cherish her and thank the Fortunes and the nakodo. Enjoy your life and remember the hardships you went through to get there."

"And then last, but not least, I'd like to try something if you're willing? It might help and it might not, but I've found that it generally works if you allow it to." All the while, they still didn't look directly at Soyokaze. Their gaze traveled around the room and on their star charts, allowing no pressure to fall on him. "Don't think I've forgotten about the hair talk either, but one topic for now so I don't just talk your ear off." They teased gently and in the same soft, sweet voice they had been using the whole time.

(*Ga-Ga is the Japanese version of quack quack.)

[Asahina Soyokaze]

There was much merit in Unsei's words, even the parts he hated but he listened attentively. "I came to you for help, whatever form that comes in I am willing." He sat up and gave the Seppun his full attention, expecting something mystical.

[Seppun Unsei]

They nodded and then did perhaps one of the most mystical things in all of Rokugan. They closed the gap between the two, wrapped their arms around him, and then gave him a gentle hug. "Your feelings are valid and so are you. This world isn't easy to go through. You're doing your best and I'm proud of you."

[Asahina Soyokaze]

Rather than cry or freeze up Soyokaze did something new for him, he lifted his arms and returned the hug and just held it a moment. It wasn't a romantic hug but it was filled with a deep love, for the person and this moment and all things. "I owe Moshumaru an apology. I may not fully understand him but if he can win a heart as kind and pure as yours I have greatly misunderstood him."

[Seppun Unsei]

They chuckled softly, though not letting go yet and instead letting him decide when he'd rather disengage. "I don't know about being kind or pure, Asahina-san. I did throw someone across the dojo once because he pissed me off."

[Asahina Soyokaze]

The Crane released the hug and looked at the Seppun. "Who?!"

[Seppun Unsei]

"Oh. Uh. Shosuro Hikimasu-san. He was being an asshole before the Sumai event. I said that I'd rather not get beaten up too badly before it and he called me a baby. Then when I walked away, he said that I did a good hit... after he called me a baby, so I got pissed off and flung him across the dojo with some help from the air kami."

[Asahina Soyokaze]

SOyokaze smiled. "I like Hikimasu, more than my instincts tell me I should, but that sounds an awful lot like when a kid teases someone they like don't you think?"

[Seppun Unsei]

They shrugged. "Sounds like he was being an ass to be an ass. He fucked around and he found out that while I'm not physically strong, I've got other methods to do what I need to do." Then they frowned. "We... did sort of try to see about something more, but we're like oil and water most days. He just aggravates me so much and I know I aggravate him."