[Day 8, Late Evening, Aimi's Room] Making it Up to Her (Closed)

[Shiba Raizo]

Raizo stood at Aimi's door. In one hand, he balanced a tray of tea and a few snacks.

He used the other to scratch at the doorframe.

There had to have been a better way to handle that crap they made us do this morning.

[Aimi]

"Enter!"

Inside, Aimi is sitting on her futon, her hair unbound and her clothing in the kind of dishevelled state that says she was halfway through getting undressed when her visitor arrived. She looks up... blinks, then smiles.

"Raizo? Unlike you to look so hesitant," she says with a grin.

[Shiba Raizo]

By every Fortune, all of the Kami, and ten thousand blasphemous gaijin deities, she's painfully beautiful.

"Yes, well, all part of my charm, right? Keeping people guessing?"

He produced the tray with a flourish.

"I figured after, well... this morning, I owed you. And. You know. That I should... check in. 'Cause I kinda ran off after the Deer had gotten their show..."

[Aimi]

"Owed... oh!" Aimi laughs, shaking her head, "Well, I won't say no to a bit of pampering, but to be clear - you owe me nothing for that. Weren't like I let you win, or that either of us would be smiling if you'd gone easy."

She taps a finger against her chin in thought for a moment. "Though I suppose if you wanted to pamper me, I won't say no... close the door though. I think our companions got enough of a view this morning, ne?"

[Shiba Raizo]

"Eh. Hell with them."

But he closed the door.

Because she'd asked.

"So. I got some tea. Some of this mochi stuff Seppun Unsei introduced me to. Some kind of rice cracker things. And a bunch of other crap."

He sighed and set it all down.

"It's... not about beating you in sumai, Aimi-chan. It's about how it was done. That's what bothers me. You're at least as skilled as I am, you were probably more committed, but... I seriously doubt anybody noticed that. And that... pisses me off, frankly. So."

He stretched a bit.

"I'd compose a poem for you, but it doesn't seem like you need anyone to induce vomiting, so... how about a neck rub?"

And if she wanted to talk about her day or anything else, well, that went without saying.

[Aimi]

"... you know, a neck rub would be nice," Aimi says in brief surprise, "Well, how about that. You're not half bad at this romance stuff, you know - fortunes know I've heard some horror stories, but so far you're doing very well."

She shuffles over and takes a position on the futon, with plenty of room for Raizo to kneel behind her, slipping the kimono from her shoulders as she does. It's important that her sweetheart not be working around the fabric, after all, not if he wants to give her a proper neck rub.

"Truthfully, you've been doing better than I," she says softly, struck by the thought. "I... am struck by the difference, there. You have been kind, and considerate, have had my health and my concerns ever in your thoughts. Yet I have scarce returned the favour even once."

[Shiba Raizo]

He set to work, kneading away at the tension as best he could.

"Motivation in all things, Aimi-chan. And besides. You do more for me than you know."

He applied the heel of his hand to a particularly troublesome knot.

"You called me on my shit from day one without any false pretense. You... trust me. And you make me want to do- and be- better. In everything."

The worst of the tension dealt with, he got to work on a more gentle species of massage.

"And, you know. You're gorgeous. And funny. And smart. And you try to do right by the common people of the Empire. And despite all of that, you spend time with me, of all the potential matches at this... thing the Deer are putting on. I know plenty would say I should say something about knowing my own worth and blah blah blah, but... my life is better- happier- simply because you're in it."

Yes, keep talking you idiot, keep digging, you can fuck this up for sure!

"As far as it goes, I have a Clan to look after me. Badly, a lot of the time, but the point is, I have them. You've just got yourself, and now me. So."

He sighed.

"Don't ever feel like you owe me a blessed thing. That's not how love works, and I'm pretty sure that's at least part of what's in play here."

[Aimi]

He set to work, kneading away at the tension as best he could.

"Motivation in all things, Aimi-chan. And besides. You do more for me than you know."

He applied the heel of his hand to a particularly troublesome knot.

"You called me on my shit from day one without any false pretense. You... trust me. And you make me want to do- and be- better. In everything."

The worst of the tension dealt with, he got to work on a more gentle species of massage.

"And, you know. You're gorgeous. And funny. And smart. And you try to do right by the common people of the Empire. And despite all of that, you spend time with me, of all the potential matches at this... thing the Deer are putting on. I know plenty would say I should say something about knowing my own worth and blah blah blah, but... my life is better- happier- simply because you're in it."

Yes, keep talking you idiot, keep digging, you can fuck this up for sure!

"As far as it goes, I have a Clan to look after me. Badly, a lot of the time, but the point is, I have them. You've just got yourself, and now me. So."

He sighed.

"Don't ever feel like you owe me a blessed thing. That's not how love works, and I'm pretty sure that's at least part of what's in play here."

"...love, huh."

It's... actually kind of strange. She'd known, on some level, what it was she was feeling, what it was that was drawing Raizo to her. She was hardly a novice in the field, far from it, she'd loved and lost before, but somehow if she'd just pretended that it was something else, if she'd veiled it in words like 'affection' and phrases such as 'developing feelings' it would be easier to handle, easier to deny. And yet it wasn't. She'd been a fool, but there was still time.

He loved her. She loved him. And that meant... that meant she had to tell him, didn't it? Before he committed, before any chance to walk this back left them, before he got hurt because of her secrets. She had to.

"I... I have to tell you something," Aimi says in a hoarse voice, enjoying the feeling of her love's hands on her shoulders, of the kind of closeness that only this privacy allows. "I... I wasn't born a samurai."

She swallows, trembles, does not look back at him. She just keeps staring at the far wall.

"When the kami started speaking to me, I was terrified. It didn't make sense. The kami didn't speak to... to people like me, they spoke to lords and ladies, to samurai and monks," she says softly, "So I thought... I must be one, mustn't I? Someone important. Someone more than I thought I was. So I ran, and I changed my name, and I started calling myself a ronin."

She laughs, briefly, at her own foolishness. "I thought it would be that easy. For most people, it was. But if I'm to leave this miai a married woman, if I'm to become part of a clan, I... I can't start that life with a lie. I can't."

"I can't do that to you."

[Shiba Raizo]

"I... I have to tell you something," Aimi says in a hoarse voice, enjoying the feeling of her love's hands on her shoulders, of the kind of closeness that only this privacy allows. "I... I wasn't born a samurai."

She swallows, trembles, does not look back at him. She just keeps staring at the far wall.

"When the kami started speaking to me, I was terrified. It didn't make sense. The kami didn't speak to... to people like me, they spoke to lords and ladies, to samurai and monks," she says softly, "So I thought... I must be one, mustn't I? Someone important. Someone more than I thought I was. So I ran, and I changed my name, and I started calling myself a ronin."

She laughs, briefly, at her own foolishness. "I thought it would be that easy. For most people, it was. But if I'm to leave this miai a married woman, if I'm to become part of a clan, I... I can't start that life with a lie. I can't."

"I can't do that to you."

He kept kneading at her shoulders as she spoke, not missing a beat. When she'd finished, he gave her shoulders a bit of a squeeze, then went right back to it.

"You know the funny thing, Aimi-chan? While the leadership of my Clan wouldn't agree with a lot of what you- and I- think of the world? They're actually with you on this one. The Phoenix assume that any shugenja who isn't born a samurai is simply 'misplaced.'"

The position of his hands shifted. He gave her a hug. resting his head against hers.

"So, you know. Good enough for the Elemental Council, good enough for me." His tone indicated that as far as it mattered, the Elemental Council could go fuck themselves, but it made a good excuse.

A pause.

"Thank you for trusting me." Funny, how that was where his composure wavered.

[Aimi]

"I... you..." Aimi stutters, her body shaking, "You ridiculous man."

She's not sure if she wants to laugh or cry. "All this time, I thought 'if he knew he'd turn away', I thought... I thought I was doing some kind of stupid noble sacrifice thing, telling you even though it was a bad idea, and you just... you just..."

She twists in his arms, raises her hands so she can embrace him and look him in the eyes, no matter how awkward the tangle of limbs becomes. "Thank you, Raizo, for being a man worth trusting."