[D8, LM, Ishioka's room, expecting] Figuring things out

[Matsu Ishioka]

"Maybe all I need is a woman who will be as honest with me as you are now, and can be the Happy Otter to my Stone Matsu when we have to put on those facades."

He draws her hand to his lips to give the same kind of kiss that she had done. Slower. Steadier. Totally controlled. To show he could be the rock if she needed one.

[Usogawa Narumi]

Her head dips toward his, and she stills. "Am I all you need, though?" She whispers, as if nervous some kind of spell between them is threatening to break. "I don't want to be the cause of ruin for something so unquestionably good for you... as she clearly is. I won't deny you of someone who brings you so much joy. And you care for her as I care for you..." Narumi speaks slowly with thought. "So how can I not care for her as well, by extension..."
It's clear she's still ruminating, still going over what happened the previous day.. over and over again in her mind.
"I came here to push you away, Ishioka. But I find I can't bring myself to do that."

[Matsu Ishioka]

As she speaks, as she thinks out loud, Ishioka gently nods. He's not just being a good listener, though; he can see the same confused, trying-to-make-sense-of-the-impossible feelings that he's been feeling. It's hard; nothing makes sense. Well, not nothing.

"Narumi," he says quietly, his voice just a little more impactful because he's never called her just her name. With their respective walls out of the way, they've never been this close.

"My friend, Yasu-san, said even if we don't know anything else, we know how we feel. And we can be honest about it. I love you, you know that." He squeezes her hand gently, then takes a deep breath before continuing in the same breathy almost-whisper. "And I love her in equal measure. But if you can't push me away... because you know you love me... then don't. We can figure this out. Together," he says intensely.

[Usogawa Narumi]

His stability reassures her, and she moves onto her knees and shifts to be next to him. But she's not done.
"I love you, as well," dark eyes met his again. "And I feel better to hear you say you feel the same. I don't know that I particularly like that you love someone else, but I... I mean, I knew as much from the beginning, when our very reason for beginning to talk was her... And besides, I don't exactly have a lot of room to talk, do I?" She tucked a lock of dark hair behind her ear and grew thoughtful again.

[Matsu Ishioka]

Ishioka remains still, letting Narumi find her way in sitting as well as in thought. There's a bit more warmth in his face as the physical space between them disappears. When she mentions herself not having room to talk, she can see little signs of him tensing slightly. His eyes narrow in curiosity, and he says, "I'm not sure what you mean, that you don't have a lot of room to talk." He sounds genuinely unsure, like perhaps he doesn't understand the expression.

[Usogawa Narumi]

An eyebrow ticked upward at that, and Narumi sighed a little while she looked off to a side before back to meet his gaze. "Just as your heart wants two samurai-ko, I'm in similar straits. I- I met.. Asahina Bo-san the day we arrived." - she puts a lot of thought into what she says. "And over the last week, we've come to an understanding.. that we could be happy together, outside the miai."

[Matsu Ishioka]

The Lion bristles at the Crane's name, trying to restrain the reaction for Narumi's sake. Just breathe. This is hard for her too. His eyes are hard, looking ahead but past her, not at her. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, and then exhaling long and slow.

"An understanding. To be happy." Another slow breath. "And do you..." Ishioka trails off, fearing he can't bear the answer and not wanting to even ask this question. He tried to open his eyes, to connect more to her, but looking into those beautiful eyes that he loved didn't make it any easier to ask her. He bows his head, feeling simultaneously so close and so far from her. If she is like me, she could be too much like me...

Ishioka takes another heavy breath. He forces an awkward smile onto his face, eyes still pressed shut. "I've seen... heard about him. Um. I had hoped that it... Isn't what we have..."

[Usogawa Narumi]

The raw emotion in his words cuts right through her and Narumi is silent while he works through what he has to say.
She sees the tight smile, and pulls her hands from his. Only to take his face into her hands, turning him gently from downcast to meet her mouth, kissing him softly.
Remaining close, she answers quietly. "My feelings for him are as of yet unrequited."

[Matsu Ishioka]

The Lion melts a little into the kiss, a good portion of the tension in him releasing. His mouth chases hers a bit when she pulls away to speak.

His eyes open, and they turn fiery at the idea that Bo doesn't see... Ishioka closes his eyes again.

"How can he not..." There's a growl of frustration. He opens his eyes and she can see that Ishioka is almost dumbfounded. "I... If he's not in love with you, he's," but the Lion stops himself, for Narumi's sake. He exhales heavily to drive out the indignation that had almost overwhelmed him.

"I'm sorry, Narumi. My..." He bridles, looking for an appropriate word. "My exasperation with him is not helpful. I just... I don't understand, I guess." He clears his throat. "Um, but, how you feel, is..." He closes his eyes and shakes his head gently. "It's the same?" He asks, some tangle of emotions in his voice despite trying to keep it normal. "For both of us?"

[Usogawa Narumi]

She flashes a true smile at his lingering and chasing of her when they part.
Then grows more serious, raising both her eyebrows and shoulders in a small shrug. "He takes things as they're presented to him, at face value. He doesn't look for ulterior motives, he doesn't see dishonesty from others. And I.. I haven't been the most forthcoming.." He'd know, better than anyone, how difficult it was for her to truly open up.
When he poses his question awkwardly enough, she smiles again and she strokes his jawline tenderly. "No, Ishioka... No, it's not the same. Not even a little bit."