[D6, EM, stables, expecting] The still of the morning

[Matsu Ishioka]

She nods after a moment . " The path that I have chosen is usually .. a lesser path meant for men so this was not unknown to me. Even if this is not what troubles my heart here, as I ... might not have been a woman of calmness in bygone years , more of a pillow book protagonist ."

She sighs " A serial one, not mixing it up of course. I am a woman of honor after all but ..."

"There are things that we know trouble our heart, but we put them aside because there is no solution to that trouble. The trouble is there, all the same, whether it's for a... a man slow as stone in a family of fiery women, or any other 'wrong fit' person who never gets a day to forget that they aren't what people want." Ishioka looks down, and keeps his eyes there.

"I apologize, Utaku-sama. You just told me that this isn't what troubles you. I don't mean to presume your troubles are like mine," he says apologetically. Ishioka takes two deep breaths to compose himself.

"I have heard nothing but honorable things about Utaku-sama, so certainly her honor is not in doubt. But perhaps I... do not understand what you mean, when you mention pillowbooks? It seems you are a romantic, yet trapped at a miai with... something less than great romance?" The Matsu is genuinely trying to understand.

[Utaku Kheree]

"There are things that we know trouble our heart, but we put them aside because there is no solution to that trouble. The trouble is there, all the same, whether it's for a... a man slow as stone in a family of fiery women, or any other 'wrong fit' person who never gets a day to forget that they aren't what people want." Ishioka looks down, and keeps his eyes there.

"I apologize, Utaku-sama. You just told me that this isn't what troubles you. I don't mean to presume your troubles are like mine," he says apologetically. Ishioka takes two deep breaths to compose himself.

"I have heard nothing but honorable things about Utaku-sama, so certainly her honor is not in doubt. But perhaps I... do not understand what you mean, when you mention pillowbooks? It seems you are a romantic, yet trapped at a miai with... something less than great romance?" The Matsu is genuinely trying to understand.

" I am a .." she thinks for a moment. "Huntress , and so the thrill of the hunt, and the way that you ride down someone beautifull until you carry them off is something that I am used to. No , I am never one that made false promisses or tried to charm someone while I was already sharing someone elses bed. But, I am also not sure about being a good woman for marriage or not."

[Matsu Ishioka]

The Matsu nods in understanding. It isn't his style, but he's seen plenty of different kinds of samurai around and passing through Kyuden Hida. And, what is it to be Matsu if not to engage one's inner hunter at least at times?

"No matter how honest the hunter, can they really give up the hunt?" He asks, interpreting her question. Ishioka takes a deep breath. "I think some would say that, to give up the hunt for good, a hunter must have such an epic hunting experience, that they will have sated their hunger for hunting forever." The Lion shakes his head. "I think they are wrong, Utaku-sama. What I have seen of all kinds of hunters in my clan is that a hunter cannot stop being a hunter any more than a samurai can stop being a samurai. It is better to be honest, that you are a hunter and need to hunt, and learn a way to do that within your duties, than to deny what... Ahem. My apologies, Utaku-sama. I am lecturing you and I'm sure that's not appreciated."

The Lion composed himself again. "Instead, I should ask, is Utaku-sama still hopeful of finding a match here that... facilitates hunting?"

[Utaku Kheree]

The Matsu nods in understanding. It isn't his style, but he's seen plenty of different kinds of samurai around and passing through Kyuden Hida. And, what is it to be Matsu if not to engage one's inner hunter at least at times?

"No matter how honest the hunter, can they really give up the hunt?" He asks, interpreting her question. Ishioka takes a deep breath. "I think some would say that, to give up the hunt for good, a hunter must have such an epic hunting experience, that they will have sated their hunger for hunting forever." The Lion shakes his head. "I think they are wrong, Utaku-sama. What I have seen of all kinds of hunters in my clan is that a hunter cannot stop being a hunter any more than a samurai can stop being a samurai. It is better to be honest, that you are a hunter and need to hunt, and learn a way to do that within your duties, than to deny what... Ahem. My apologies, Utaku-sama. I am lecturing you and I'm sure that's not appreciated."

The Lion composed himself again. "Instead, I should ask, is Utaku-sama still hopeful of finding a match here that... facilitates hunting?"

"But am I a hunter, or like a kettle with a hole that can not be filled, but one that could be repaired" She asks clearly frustrated and not sure what her own answer in this situation would be.

[Matsu Ishioka]

The logical side of the Lion sees a question that can be answered there, and he begins thinking through it.

"It seems, Utaku-sama, that the right first question would be: Did you learn to hunt from someone or on your own? The difference, whether it was an inner fire that started the blaze or someone bringing a torch to bear, would say much about whether it is a small or... not so small... thing to, um, address." Ishioka's eyes show heavy concern, and he has taken a couple of steps closer to speak a little more softly.

[Utaku Kheree]

The logical side of the Lion sees a question that can be answered there, and he begins thinking through it.

"It seems, Utaku-sama, that the right first question would be: Did you learn to hunt from someone or on your own? The difference, whether it was an inner fire that started the blaze or someone bringing a torch to bear, would say much about whether it is a small or... not so small... thing to, um, address." Ishioka's eyes show heavy concern, and he has taken a couple of steps closer to speak a little more softly.

"I am not sure, because... it is both the attention tht it gives you and .. well it is very enjoyable and so I can not recall quite what lead me to it afte I had discovered the uh... effects of me blossoming."

[Matsu Ishioka]

"I am not sure, because... it is both the attention tht it gives you and .. well it is very enjoyable and so I can not recall quite what lead me to it afte I had discovered the uh... effects of me blossoming."

The Lion nods. "Once focused on the hunt, the stable is forgotten." It even sounds like something a Unicorn would say.

"But no one can hunt all the time. Time at home is needed to rest, to recover from wounds... To feel safe after a hunt goes awry, even. The hunt will probably never leave your blood, and you may struggle with hunting less than some part of you wishes, but you will always need a home to return to. So what kind of mate do you wish to have there, Utaku-sama? Who do you want to see when you return from a failed hunt, feeling the worst about yourself? Perhaps most important is a kind and patient heart?"

[Utaku Kheree]

The Lion nods. "Once focused on the hunt, the stable is forgotten." It even sounds like something a Unicorn would say.

"But no one can hunt all the time. Time at home is needed to rest, to recover from wounds... To feel safe after a hunt goes awry, even. The hunt will probably never leave your blood, and you may struggle with hunting less than some part of you wishes, but you will always need a home to return to. So what kind of mate do you wish to have there, Utaku-sama? Who do you want to see when you return from a failed hunt, feeling the worst about yourself? Perhaps most important is a kind and patient heart?"

"It is .. " she thinks for a moment. " you need to feel warm and accepted , for the nights can be dark and cold and to be at ease with one another is more then just beauty. One does not need to be a great person to be a loving person."

[Matsu Ishioka]

"Utaku-sama, if I may, I would be honored to help you try to find a match that fills you with more confidence than you are feeling right now. May I make the effort?"

[Utaku Kheree]

"Utaku-sama, if I may, I would be honored to help you try to find a match that fills you with more confidence than you are feeling right now. May I make the effort?"

"I would be honored by you expanding yourself on such work, and would be glad for it , but I am also not sure that I could promose to honor your guidance there." she says with a bow.