(D4, LE Tanabe's) A Touch of Ruby (closed)

[Kuni Yasu]

It's getting late, but several things weigh to heavy on a rather young mind for sleep to come soon. So Yasu finds herself beside the door she believes is the correct one, scratching gently at the wooden frame.

[Susaki Tanabe]

There would be a delay, the sound of some soft rustling and the door would open slightly, a sliver of the familiar face peering down before the door slid open fully he had been about to greet her loudly as she might guess by how he opened his mouth but he looked around and he simply smiled wide and stepped to the side to allow her in and close the sliding door behind her "Yasu-chan! its good to see you. An eventful day no?" his exclamation was more energy than volume.

[Kuni Yasu]

She's got her yukata just thrown over her shoulders and the plain white sleeping/underrobe, all of it tied together with a narrow belt. Her hair is down and just tied out of the way at her nape, and it's obvious she's only just been clearing away her makeup, hastily enough that there's bits of white at the hairline and bits of red still smeared near her lips.

For just a moment as the door opens, there's something troubled in her eyes and expression that might hint at such hasty preparation to journey through the halls, but the sight of him chases it off for now as she smiles at the sight of him. She nods, slipping inside without even pausing for proper bows and greetings.. "They've all been pretty busy so far. Days and evenings. Not sure how that happens when our hosts set us such a light schedule."

After a moment, she offers a belated bow, her hands clasped together at her waist. "It's good to see you...without a hallway full of people" There's amusement in her voice, though it's gone as she asks, "Can we talk?"

[Susaki Tanabe]

He notices her somewhat messy appearance a touch late, possibly clouded by his excitement at just seeing her actually come to his door but the details shine through eventually left over makeup and casual clothing just thrown on. Yasu was many things but hasty and messy were rarely two of them from what he knew.

His brow creased with concern, all his questions and things he might have had to say were wiped away in light of her distress "Of course Yasu. Come, sit." he said motioning into the room when they got settled he would reach a hand out offering it to her and look into her eyes "What's wrong."

[Kuni Yasu]

She settles, holding herself with a somewhat unusual stiffness, as she wants to do more than just take his hand, but simply can't when he doesn't know what she does. A small part of her notices how quickly he picks up the cues and shifts gears, her thumb moving to stroke along his in some unconscious appreciation of it.

Her other hand scratches at the back of her neck, as she tips her head back with a a deep inhale, speaking first to the ceiling, dimly noting the cobwebs. "I've done something, and I have to tell you. Maybe you'd rather not know, but I'd know, and it would be there forever." Her hand tightens on his as she looks down to meet his eyes. Her voice is tight with the difficulty of pushing the words out where he can hear them.

Twice she almost speaks, before calling back the justifications that ring false in her own mind as they start to be said. "I should just say it simply. There's no excuse. I...kissed someone...else, last night. I don't know..." she stops herself, lips pressed together with a small huff of breath. Explanations are also excuses. Her eyes waver, wanting to drop, but her shoulders stiffen and she remains, determined not to dodge what she's done.

[Susaki Tanabe]

Tanabe frowns but does not release her hand his expression is not a happy one but it does not seem like the thunderheads of anger and jealousy building nor the judgment of disappointment on his brow. His expression is a soft sadness not grief or the sting of perceived betrayal but a small hurting "I guess I can't be that surprised. This is a miai after all, I know how great you are. It would be silly to think others would not be interested in you too and with many great samurai here I'm sure it would be equally silly to think I would be the only one you show interest in." he perhaps rationalized for her "I guess I just thought last night was something special." his voice was a little softer.

[Kuni Yasu]

"No," there's a stunned stillness to the word as his hurt strikes her. It's not what fireside tales of romance and betrayal had led her to expect.

Then her hand clutches tight, "no, no, no...I mean...yes, it was special, no I didn't mean to.." Her other hand goes to his cheek. "You're like the sun, every time I see you. It's dawn after a long, cold watch."

"I'm not..It was..' She shakes her head, swallows the memory of challenge and counter. She can't, even now, entirely regret it, what she's learned of herself now for good and bad. "I don't want to make excuses about how it happened. That's ...you, of all people, don't need to hear that. I'm just sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you like this."

[Susaki Tanabe]

He is withdrawn, if he was the sun then his pain was a cloud. The rays could be peeked through but it was not near the radiance it normally was. He brought his hand to cover hers that rested on his cheek and he smiled there was sadness there but she got the feeling he was still happy she was there.

"Yasu," there is a long pause "I," he sighed "I can't lie to you, I'm no good at it. Yes I am hurt. I, we shared things with eachother, bore our hearts on our sleeves. Together in that room it felt like the rest of the world fell away for me, I left that geisha house, I wasn't even thinking of the miai, I was thinking of you, your taste, the feeling of your skin on mine, the way you smiled at me...."

He shook his head softly "I, well, I had hoped you felt the same." His smile faltered slightly but recovered. He grabbed her hand and brought her knuckles to his lips softly and then looked at her for a long moment "is it still me your heart wants?" He asked slowly the sound of someone who must ask but isn't sure if they are ready for the answer.

[Kuni Yasu]

There's no hesitation in her answer. "Yes." If she'd had any doubts about that, last night and this had brushed them away. "My heart's new at this. But it wants you, Tanabe." With his name comes the hesitation, as her thumb brushes along his cheek, wishing it were that easy to bush aside that cloud.

Her usual cheer seems more flickering than clouded, shifting with a worry and apology. "It's hard to understand. Harder to explain. But yes, I felt that way. Replaying every touch and word." Now she does look down to the space between them. "I don't understand how i can love you, and yet, find the world falling away again, in such a different way." Her hands slip from his, to rest between them, curled as if holding a scroll. "Like here's what I'm studying, and it's entirely fascinating to work through...then one line changes how I understand basic pieces and I'm running down some new theory and..."

Her hands curl closed, frustrated at the lack of understanding, at wanting to bury her face in his shoulder when he's the very last person she should turn to for comfort in this. And in part because even now, she wants to share bits and pieces of the night with him--the insights and the strange challenge that drew her on. And can't. Or at least, really shouldn't, there's a difference. But that urge to share everything with him is still there.

[Susaki Tanabe]

Without word he watches her explain his eyebrows raise in shock and a little surprise and his smile is small and soft but genuine as can be. He looks at her for a long while before moving toward her his massive arms wrapping around her and pulling her into him, embracing her should she not resist.

His sadness diminished to a light fog rather than a cloud "Do you realize what you just said Yasu?" His voice asked softly, radiating a warmth in his chest that burned away the fog the longer he sat with it. His mind working, processing, seeking to understand and in that understanding finding happiness.

He kissed her cheek His still soft voice in her ear "I love you too."