Kyuden Shika

Her heartrate picks up steadily, and she meets his gaze, "I've no doubt it was serious. Why else would you come calling on me in the middle of the night?"
Shots fired, but the flare of a blush stays put on Narumi's cheeks as bits and pieces begin to clarify.

Ishioka's head twitches at the question. His mouth opens to start answering, eyes narrowed, and he stops. His face shifts as something registers belatedly.

"Wait a minute. You were... You almost don't remember getting back to your room? Why were you..." The Stone Matsu facade crumbles before her eyes. His face is awash now in confusion.

"I was angry, Ishioka," she drops her voice again, eyes searching his, "-and I was hurt. I'm still those things. Bo told me what happened," she pauses, considering if she wants to say what she does next, "-and that you both agreed your mutually shared love for me made me worth protecting."
There's the briefest flicker of movement to reach across the table but she holds back. Instead she flexes sore hands before picking up her cup to regard him over the lip of it.

The Lion closes his eyes and shakes his head. He takes a heavy sigh.

"You don't need my protection," he admits, sounding tired. "Inoshishi doesn't either, though it's taken me forever to realize it. But," he pauses and looks square in her eyes. "That's not why I love you. I love the mysterious nakodo in training who made me so excited to help people in that way I tried to do it myself. The sad heart who's been to the dark places of grief and confusion that I have. The..." He chuckles faintly. "The doubter of new ideas who went through the most unconventional 10 days here with me and still sits to talk over tea." He exhales deeply.

He seems to want to say more, but he's already said a lot of things he had forgotten in the last few days or had just realized in the last few hours, so he stops and his eyes watch anxiously for her reaction.

Defensive posture slumps slightly and though her eyes narrow when he says he loves her still..., him using the past tense would've been so much worse- or so she immediately realizes.
The blush tempers but her heart races ahead. She softens, just barely.
"I enjoy sharing tea with you," she murmurs simply, and takes a sip from her cup. Her expression behind said cup suggests he go on.

Small victory though it may be, polite words and wanting to continue seem a big step in Ishioka's mind.

"I was trying to bring order, control, to something that isn't in my control, so of course it became about me. I didn't... want it to be that way. I wanted... Well, a lot of things." The Lion takes a deep, steadying drink of tea and watches for the Otter's next move.

At which point Raizo walked through the common room, apparently sufficiently recovered from getting laid out by another of the Lion contingent to stagger upstairs to rest up for his meeting later in the day.

The Phoenix paused, taking in the sight of his Otter friend and the Lion the gossips never seemed to shut up about.

Nah. She wants his ass kicked, she'll tell me.

...

And right now, I'd definitely have to cheat anyway.

There were a lot of different ways Narumi could've responded, but still trying to sort out and retrieve what had been said between them last night made navigating this morning very tricky. He was running on a lot more information than she was, but Narumi was a smart girl, and everything Ishioka says and the way he defends himself preemptively leads her down the path of what must've been said in her room.
And it wasn't pretty.
She sighs deeply.
"For how much you pushed me to figure out what I wanted, I don't think you knew," she says quietly, and thought for a long moment, before the corner of her lip turned up in a pensive smile, having found something- finally- to be optimistic about. Some small truth that had seemed to settle into her heart and she wore well. "The Shika will make their decisions in two days. All we can do is perform admirably and trust their wisdom."

Glancing up and spotting Raizo actually on his feet instead of in a stretcher, Narumi's expression takes on a relieved smile and she raises her cup of tea slightly towards him, but if he wants to come over it's up to him.

Usogawa Narumi wrote: ↑

Sat Sep 04, 2021 12:19 pm

"For how much you pushed me to figure out what I wanted, I don't think you knew," she says quietly, and thought for a long moment, before the corner of her lip turned up in a pensive smile, having found something- finally- to be optimistic about. Some small truth that had seemed to settle into her heart and she wore well. "The Shika will make their decisions in two days. All we can do is perform admirably and trust their wisdom."

The Lion blinks, wanting to say a lot of things all at once and in conflict with each other. He's saved by Narumi's smile.

"Hai. It has never been up to us." He sighs. "I was foolish and believed I wasn't trying to outsmart the Deer nakodo. I should have listened to Yasu-san: even if all we get is the time here, that's a blessing." He looks at Narumi, sad to be speaking sadly, but he has to say it: "For the time we could have had here, that I wasted, I'm sorry."

"Hai... Yasu-san is incredibly wise, and I'm lucky to count her as a true friend," she replies quietly as well, regarding Ishioka's conflict, leading to resignation, and her smile tempers with the weight of his bittersweet apology. Narumi settles and nods slowly, accepting his words.
"I'm sorry things didn't turn out differently. We've found our happiness in different places. But know that I... I would've been happy to be your wife, Ishioka." It hurts her to say it with such finality, and that much is obvious to him as well as he knows her, for how truly similar they are.