(D11 LE, Soyokaze's) I Told You!

[Kitsu Murato]

"Exactly!" he says. "That! That's what will make me feel better!"

He explodes up from his position. "I'm playing no games. I love her," he says, looking to where Soyo is sitting.

"More than I can explain, I feel it from the tips of my fingers to the tips of my toes. With every fiber of my being. With every ounce of my soul. I sing in my heart when I see her. I count steps between meetings to know how far I had to walk to get to her once more, then immediately forget because the distance is immaterial once I've gotten to her. And so many other things that there isn't enough time in the world to explain. I have no fear of being with her."

His eyes were very slowly regaining orange color.

"And my reason for keeping it from her was that you asked, because I hoped you loved her at least a fraction of what I do. That you would do the right thing and tell her. Though I'm certainly not going to make that mistake again. I don't regret keeping it to myself and putting my faith in another person, but I am pissed that things shook out the way they did and I've learned a lesson in who to trust."

[Asahina Soyokaze]

Soyokaze bolts to his feet getting right in the Lion's face. "You think I love her any less than you just because I make different decisions than you? EVERY SINGLE THING I DO IS WRONG! Even the damn mirror, I swear it's cursed. I poured all I had into that for her and it isn't right. I somehow created a nemurunai for her and I hate it. I wanted to show her how beautiful she is to me and when she pointed it at me do you know what I saw? I saw my face on your features. Not a joke not a metaphor, it was me but it was you. Hell it doesn't even work as a mirror, it doesn't show the truth. Every single thing I do is a mistake from my birth to now. So, tell me why inflicting myself upon her is showing love? You think I talk about walking away lightly? You think I want to be alone? You think I want to hurt her? All you do is talk about letting her make choices but when are you going to actually do something? Huh? I never even should have been a thought to her, I can't compare to you, you should be embarrassed that she even has to debate this. Look at me, I'm nothing."

[Kitsu Murato]

He smiled at Soyokaze calming down.

"I do all I can. I listen, I talk, I share, I feel. I have cared for her injuries, shared my hopes, learned about her pains... And there is so much more I want to share with her but there are not enough hours. All I talk to you about is letting her make choices."

"I don't want her to be pushed towards me by someone else. I want to earn her love and respect. I want what is between Bai and me to be ours and what is between the two of you to be yours. You are part of the conversation, of course, because you are important to her."

[Asahina Soyokaze]

The pressure of the situation was getting to Soyokaze and he looked like he might be sick. "How do you do it? How do you manage to be so noble and such a bastard all the time? How come you helping me is noble but my helping you is wrong?"

[Kitsu Murato]

"I am not trying to be a bastard or noble. I'm not trying to play games or manipulate. Im reacting to the situation I've found myself in. I have anger, because I made a wrong choice. I blame you for it because the situation wouldn't exist without you. I push you to stop pushing the person you love towards me because I don't understand your life or choices or why you think that is a good idea. I am a man like you and subject to my own messes, emotions and mistakes."

He sighs.

"And I can't speak with her because of my promise, so I seek the closest other person to her. And that person happens to be someone I am frustrated with. There is no nobility... there is confusion and poor choices."

[Asahina Soyokaze]

"Let's get one thing straight, YUZU is responsible for this situation. Secondly... "He looked the kitsu in the yes and put his hands on either of his shoulders. "You're a damn bard, write her a letter, a poem, sing to her from outside her window. Be a damned bard. Do you know how many poems I have written her during this miai? Who do you think has been leaving all the love poems out in public and who do you think they were about? You don't have to talk to her to talk to her."

[Kitsu Murato]

"I do. I sing for her. I even spent days trying to figure out those little braids for kumihimo so that I could make that bracelet. Despite the fact that I just don't have the talent for it. The truth is that I am not half the bard that others are. I spend so much more time doing paperwork and banishing evil spirits. Not exactly romantic pursuits," he says with a self deprecating chuckle.

[Asahina Soyokaze]

"So do something, do something big, show her that you love her and you are sorry. Sometimes saying it isn't enough you have to show her you love her not tell her. I don't know how YOU should do that so I won't make unwanted suggestions but you're a smart and creative man I have faith that you can think of something that is personal and from the heart." A dozen ideas ran through his head. "Or just wait till I do something stupid again."

[Kitsu Murato]

"I need to. I've submitted to her punishment, and it is driving me mad. Telling me that I cannot go to her, when it is all I want to do. Just hours before that, I told her I would suggest to the Deer that a pairing between us would be most beneficial if we were to be Phoenix. It's still up to them though. I..."

His mind moves quickly.

"I need rope. I need heavy rope. Maybe a drum... a drum might be too much..." he looks down at his fingers and starts counting on them. Perhaps working out a rhythm?

"I expect you not to give up Soyokaze-san. We've both hurt her. Neither of us is perfect, she knows that. She won't leave you alone. She seeks what she wants, because it is her heart."

[Asahina Soyokaze]

"I did you wrong, let me give reparations." he went to a table and wrote out a quick note. "Take this down 4 doors, that's my assistant's room. Give her this, she will take you to the forge, I have rope and many other things. Take what you want, as much as you need and she will help you carry it if need be." He held out the note to the Kitsu.