Kyuden Shika

Murato knocked. Not scratched lightly, or gently knocked. He knocked.

Soyokaze opened the door not knowing who he would find, a summons from Unsei perhaps. "uh, Murato-san good evening, would you like to come in?"

This can't be good.


"What can I do for you this evening?"

He enters at the invitation. "You..." he glares, closing the door behind him.

"Didn't tell her. She learned from someone else. You should have told her," he says. "Why didn't you?"

Soyokaze took an involuntary step backwards under the weight of the Kitsu's glare. "Wha..what? You knew I wasn't telling her."

"But I told you you should tell her," he said. "Just like I told you to talk to her after your drunken rant. Trying to look out for her feelings because she deserves honesty. And now I am the asshole because I knew and didn't say anything... expecting you to have some backbone and at least be forthright with her. I can only imagine that she was equally upset with you, if not moreso."

"I doubt she was mad at you, she doesn't get mad. She was mostly just hurt and disappointed with me. Very disappointed with me. For what it's worth I am sorry that I put you in that position and I told her in no uncertain terms that the fault lied with me not you." he sat down and offered the Kitsu a seat. "I also told her that she should forget about me and be with you, I can't stop hurting her."

He doesn't sit. "She was angry. At being left out of the loop. With me since I knew. She asked for space and it crushed my soul to hear it. Because I want nothing more than to share her concerns and burdens, to be there for her. She loves you and so I have not brought myself into conflict with you. Have tried to at least provide some support to you for her sake. And you can't even take some simple advice that would have saved her that heartache."

His eyes literally began turning lighter, white hot. Like an ember in a flame stoked by a bellows.

"And now I hear that she is... disappointed... with the one that accepted the duel in the first place, who kept it from her, who shared that knowledge with me and asked me to keep it from her. I'd suspect you were playing some manipulative game with her and I if I didn't know better. I am faced with the anger of a woman I love, who is more gentle and caring than any other soul I have met. And for you, the man that was part of the cause of the situation that led to her feeling so hurt. Disappointment. The disparity somehow makes it hurt even more."

"And now I cannot even talk to her about it until after tomorrow unless she comes to me because I gave her my word and won't I break it no matter how much I want to, or how much my soul is pierced by the sadness of being away. It has only been a few hours. But every drink, joke, shared word or bite eaten makes me miss her even more because it isn't shared with her."

Soyokaze looked down at his lap, unable to meet the Lion's gaze. "You think this is better? She gives you a strong emotion, all I get is sadness and pity. If she's mad at you it's because your actions matter to her, what does that say for me? This isn't a game I'm playing and if it is I certainly don't know the rules. I'm lost here. Yes I should have told her but forgive me if I don't follow your every command regarding what I should do, for trying to figure things out for myself. As I said I told her she should choose you and I meant that. I told her she needs to share more of her life and pain with you instead of piling my pain on top of her own. I admitted to not being in control of my emotions. I told her that you won't hurt her like I keep seeming to. If I thought it would do any good I would carve your name into my chest."

The fire started to grow within the little Crane as he spoke. "I've been trying to find someone else, someone I could be with and not hate, trying to prepare myself for the greatest pain of my life. What do you want from me? Do you want me to leave? Seppuku? Do you want to hit me? Go ahead. Everything I do hurts her and it's killing me inside. I'm utterly lost and broken. The only thing tethering me to this place is her and I want you to have her because I can't keep doing this."

He moves over to the Crane, getting down into a squat. His eyes are furious and almost white with just a hint of orange. "What I want from you is to stop that."

His fists clench and unclench as he talks. Not intentionally threatening, but clearly to help him hold back from acting on his anger.

"Stop trying to push her to me. Stop telling her what you think she should do. She'll make up her own damned mind about what she wants. Be honest with her without hiding things back. You love her, tell her, tell her that what you want is to be with her. Because I'm going to lose my fortunes damned mind if you tell me that you told her to pick someone else again. You're not a nakodo, so stop trying to figure out who is best for her."

His eye twitches.

"I don't care what it is that she sees in you. I don't care if you may think she might be happier with someone other than you. You love her, tell her. You love her, you do what you can to be with her. You love her, you'll stop trying to choose for her. But for the love of the fortunes... if you keep trying to make decisions that concern her, without talking to her... I will go mad."

He puts his hands on his eyes, his frustration becoming apparent, behind a wall formed by his arms, still squatting in front of Soyokaze.

"You know what? You keep telling me what I should do and you keep telling me that she should make the decisions when I do I get to decide something for my life? Huh? She WILL make up her own mind but don't I get to have a say in any of this? You're pissed because you screwed up and she's upset? Welcome to my world. No one forced you to keep the duel from her, you did that and whatever they were you had your reasons so don't blame me for your regrets. Why would you even be upset about me saying that, about me giving up? Are you afraid to be with her or something? Are you the one playing a game here? Is there actually anything I can say or do that will make you happy or are you looking for excuses to be mad?"


[Soyokaze gains 3 strife and 1 Void Point from Meekness]